It’s my birthday, one of those between 30 and 65 that all kind of blend together since there’s no real reason to remember which one it is, so to rub it in Herself said “Sweetie, why don’t you pick out a couple things on that sports clothes site you like? I’ll put it on my Amex.”

 Oh, like maybe you had an ear trumpet in mind? A walker? But hey, free clothes are free clothes, so okay.

 Yes, I like FinishLine. Good stuff, good selection, good prices and you don’t have to find a parking space and try the stuff on behind one of those curtains. Being a man and all that covers 100% of my shopping requirements. That, and you can shop while drinking beer. If it didn’t exist I’d have fewer clothes, simple as that.

 “Oh Please, Not The Hoodie.”

Yes, my dearest flower, the hoodie. I may live in Gotham, but I bleed Patriots blue. No Johnny Come Lately fan, I grew up seeing the likes of Tony Eason and Jeff Carlson quarterback the team — let me repeat that: Jeff. Carlson. I’ve earned Tom Brady. And I’m a big Bill Belichick fan.

Mens North Face Quantum HoodieFinishLine has the goods — the North Face Quantum Hoodie (a version of which you can also buy directly from The North Face for $75 or from Macys for $44, and REI for $75. It’s Herself’s lucky day, not only has she met me, but it’s on a pretty significant sale — forty bucks. Not bad at all. Wish I’d had this a couple months ago with all that snow and cold we had here, but they last a long time, and since it doesn’t look like all that global warming’s going to kick in anytime soon, I’m going to need it. Stretchy fleece that’s more comfortable than most, it doesn’t pill and it’s got a handy stealth media pocket the iPhone’s not going to fall out of.

Because let’s be honest, a hoodie’s a hoodie. What you want is top quality material, comfortable design and we’re done. No sense paying for what you don’t need — keep it simple, do it right and keep the price down. That’s what we have here.

But since the hoodie was on sale, let’s get something else.

Under Armour Chrome Compression
Under Armour Chrome Compression Alter Ego Shirt

I could try for some Patriots fan gear, but I don’t want to test Herself’s limits when she has her credit card out. So we’ll play it safe and get the Men’s Under Armour Chrome Compression Alter Ego Shirt, in this case my true alter ego, Batman. And look, Herself must be living right, it’s $45 knocked down to $29.99. At this rate I might get her to take me out for pho as well.

Comes in black, and the compression fit works for me in the gym. I really do feel more energy in my muscles working out in one of these, and it seems the muscles heal faster afterwards. It wicks away sweat like a madman, doesn’t constrict movement and yeah, Batman. Herself appreciates the anti-odor technology, so hey, win-win.

Lots more I could get — the Nike Tech Fleece shorts are tempting me beyond what humans should have to endure, but they’re not on sale, and we want Herself in a good mood when we ask her to enter her Amex details, so we’ll put those on hold for now.

Because Christmas is coming.